The Bad Boy Factor-Why Women cannot resist him? By Kimberly R. Jasper

Mary J. said it best, “Bad boys ain’t no good, good boys ain’t no fun…” There is just something dangerously irresistible about a bad boy. Besides the fact that they tend to be more physically appealing because of the confidence they exude, there is an underlying promise of thrills and excitement that attract women. A real bad boy emits an intensely masculine energy that attracts women like bees to honey, and they simply cannot seem to resist his not-so-subtle charms. Smoldering eyes, deep voice, rugged masculine appearance, even all dressed up and clean-shaven, a bad boy can be spotted a mile away by the devilish grin that plays cleverly beneath his nose. But bad boys are not for the young and inexperienced; it takes a real grown woman to handle the antics of a bad boy.

Just to be clear, in no way am I referring to the type of bad boy that abuses and mistreats women. I am talking about the smooth operator, sweet talker, accidental heartbreaker, and instant breath taker. This man is as elusive as Big Foot, and cannot be tamed unless he wants to be, but that never stops a woman from trying. Now she must be very careful to weed through the jerks disguising as bad boys in order to find the real ones. Real bad boys have jobs, take care of their children (if they’ve ever been caught slipping), and handle their business in every aspect. This includes the woman in their life.

Making her a priority is what makes him so good, keeping her a priority is what makes him so dangerously bad. Bad boys have short attention spans, but once he has chosen a woman, she is it for him. Now, he may not be the most romantic man she’ll ever meet. She may not get flowers or love notes, but she will surely know that she is loved. Bad boy love is intense and addictive. Much like the bite of a vampire, the effect is incurable. Here are just a few reasons why good girls just can’t seem to resist a bad boy:

HIS IRRESISTABLE CHARM

Bad boys are seemingly more appealing to women. People with so-called ‘dark’ personality traits such as narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism – otherwise known as the ‘dark triad’ of personality traits* – are more physically attractive than others. For example, narcissists, unsurprisingly, are better at making themselves look more physically appealing, and present themselves accordingly. Additionally, those within the dark triad were found to be more likeable and had more confident body language, and more attractive facial expressions than their counterparts. In short, a bad boy makes a real good first impression. This works well in his favor because, when a woman finds someone attractive, she tends to assume that they are also smart, kind, and confident…even if it has not been proven to be true. Remember that charm is deceptive, so beware of the imposters. Baby boys that hide their insecurities and personality flaws behind the irresistible guise of a “bad boy” persona are all too common, and must be avoided like the plague. (* see note below)

HE CAN MAKE A WOMAN FEEL SAFE

One of the most important characteristics of any bad boy is his “take charge” attitude, not to be confused with the controlling nature of a “baby boy”. A bad boy exhibits dominance and authority that borders the “tough guy” persona, and makes a woman feel safe. She knows that she will have no worries when she is out with him, and that is a major turn on for her. He can be her knight in shining armor, without all of the corny chick flick flare. Women love to feel safe and protected, like a priceless jewel. Bad boys are fierce protectors of what belongs to them, and when she is his, he will let her know it. When he’s being protective, she is important to him, and that makes her feel special.

BAD BOYS REALLY ARE MORE FUN

The reason why bad boys have so much appeal is because they are totally unpredictable. Every day holds something new and exciting for them, and they are eager to share that with you. From motorcycles, to daredevil trips, bad boys really know how to have a good time. Even women that have led a rather cookie-cutter life will eventually yearn for something a little more exciting. Bad boy types are considered captivating, and can be a gateway to the unknown, things she has only read about in risqué romance novels. There will be times when a woman won’t know if she’s coming or going, and that in itself is an adventure worth taking. Therefore, ‘nice’ guys with their reliably structured existence, just cannot compete with their wild bad boy counterparts who apparently have nine lives. Blame it on evolution.

IT’S HORMONAL

If you find yourself fantasizing about the bad boy at the bar, you can blame your ovaries for that. Women tend to delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads during the week of their period. When looking at the bad boy through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looks exactly like Mr. Right, every time. That means, during a certain time of the month, women cannot help but be attracted to the bad boy. As much as the right bad boys are downright hypnotizing, it’s important to note that the wrong bad boy’s charming ways will quickly wear off and wear you out in the process. As aforementioned, the “baby boys” find it relatively easy to simply begin a new relationship. In fact, they are notorious for it. Predictably, over time, they find it difficult to maintain their mesmerizing first impression, and are noted to be selfish, cold, and arrogant – pretty much the opposite of who you thought they were. That’s because people with dark personality traits are skilled at keeping their unpleasant side hidden, so keep a watchful eye, and do not be fooled.

SHE LIKES A MAN THAT TAKES CHARGE

Women don’t like to be bossed around, but they do like you to step in and take charge when necessary. A woman can never resist a man of action. If a woman needs a strong man who makes decisions and is very action-oriented, she may be more likely to find a “bad boy” who is more aggressive in his life. This type of aggression allows him to explore the grey areas and not simplify everything to black and white. A man operating in the “grey” areas will display just enough backbone to be a man of confidence, and move more boldly. They are secure enough in their role as a man to send you flowers (without a card or note), take you out, and be proud of you in public. Hands down, bad boys are much better at taking charge and making you feel good about it.

SHE JUST WANTS A FLING

Not every woman is trying to run down the aisle for marriage, some women just want a real, good “fling”. As I have already discussed, narcissistic bad boys – what I like to call “baby boys” – are not the commitment type. This makes them the ideal choice for flings with no strings attached, if a woman so desires. There is nothing wrong with a good fling, that being said, part of the reason why women frequently prefer bad boys, over genuinely nice guys, when they’re just looking for a fling is because the sexual prowess of a bad boy seems more exciting and adventurous. And it usually is. All the dark personality traits align perfectly in the bad boy lover: charm, egotism, narcissism, and dominance. These traits, when used in the bedroom, are lethal, a Superwoman’s kryptonite. There is no right or wrong bad boy in this case, both will more than satisfy any itch a woman may need scratched.

IT’S A MATTER OF STATISTICS

In a society of toxic masculinity, studies overwhelmingly show that narcissism is greater in men, even across cultures. Moreover, it is believed that narcissism may advance short-term mating in men, as it involves a willingness and ability to compete with one’s own gender, and to repel mates shortly after intercourse. So don’t take it personal when he quits after he “hits it”, it may just be in his narcissistic nature. Essentially, this means that there may be more bad boys in the world than there are nice guys, which makes it easier to accidentally fall in love with one at some point. Statistically, it’s not that difficult to do.

NOTE:

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Also called narcissistic personality disorder.

Psychopathy, sometimes considered synonymous with sociopathy, is traditionally defined as a personality disorder characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy, impaired remorse, bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits.

Machiavellianism in psychology refers to a personality trait, which sees a person so focused on their own interests they will manipulate, deceive, and exploit others to achieve their goals.

Together, these three personality traits are known as the “dark triad”. Use of the term “dark” implies that people possessing these traits have malevolent qualities.

About Author

Kimberley Jasper is pursuing her Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from the University of Houston. She is currently an accomplished self-published author of three novels, with the release of her fourth being greatly anticipated. From horror fiction with a mystical twist, to erotic thrillers, she is able to do it all with well-seasoned finesse. Kimberley gives every genre of her writing the same drive and devotion. Formerly a public-speaker, she still mentors women of all ages with a series entitled “A Woman’s Work”.