How are some couples able to make their relationship last? Of course, we know all about the big things like communication, making the relationship a top priority, honesty, and remaining faithful. But it is truly the little things in between that mean a lot. There are a few tricks for couples who have been together for a very long time and plan to keep it that way, that make the relationship a success.
Sure, there will always be bumps in the road on certain things like keeping the fire lit, having fun, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Relationships have the power to serve as either the greatest or the worst experiences that people can experience, but there is no denying the value of having one. It is extremely difficult for a couple to develop the kind of chemistry needed to sustain a lasting relationship, so conditions outside of the relationship must be favorable to the union as well.
Couples who pay attention to the details, and place emphasis on the little things, are the ones who are better able to weather the storms that will surely come. These couples understand that the small things count the most because those are the things done simply for love, no special occasion needed. Here are 7 little things that mean a lot in every relationship.
- FREQUENT SEX AND LOTS OF CUDDLING
It is perfectly okay to put sex on the schedule, if you don’t, you will find that you can skip it for long periods. Something will always seem to take up your extra time. It is very important to hook up and unwind before sex, not just foreplay, but an intimate connection. You should never just dive right into the physical stuff or else it’s just sex, and you can have that with anyone. As a seasoned couple, once the novelty has worn off, you may not have the energy to have sex as frequently. You may not even have the desire you once had, but the need for the connection will always be there.
Cuddling is the best way to reconnect and show love to your partner. It has the amazing ability to soothe pain, calm nerves, and release tension. It is a release that works both ways. Not only will your partner feel relaxed, but you become stress free as well. So even if you’re too busy to have sex, a little foreplay and lots of cuddling will do just fine.
- PLAN QUARTERLY GETAWAYS
Most couples’ first time travelling together will be on their honeymoon. This means that some valuable one-on-one bonding time has been missed. You can discover a lot about your partner while traveling together. When you’re far away from home, and you have only each other to interact with, you will create lasting memories. Spend more time together, just the two of you, on a romantic getaway.
If you can’t afford a big vacation, a ‘staycation’ is a great way to get that same feeling at a fraction of the cost. Explore a different State or even see the sights around the city you live in, but do it together. Whether or not it turns out to be a great vacation, it will give you both a shared experience and something to talk about that will bring you closer.
Try treating each other to a little trip instead of attempting to buy jewelry or expensive novelty gifts. Travelling anywhere together a few times a year, even if it’s a quick weekend trip, adds excitement and anticipation to the relationship. Planning can be fun, but try searching online for those inexpensive flights with flexible dates, and just go. A little spontaneity can take you a long way.
- DON’T BRING UP OLD FIGHTS
It is never a good idea to bring up an old argument during a new one, especially if the matter has already been forgiven or resolved. Leave the past in the past. This is more important than you think because when you bring up an old issue you make what was once resolved now unresolved, and oftentimes, a bigger issue than it was to begin with.
This is because the thoughts and feelings of the first argument has now been compounded with the new one. If it’s an issue that will not matter next month, just drop it. Your focus should always be to bring the argument to an end because the bigger picture is the importance of your relationship.
In a healthy relationship, each partner relies on the other for love, guidance and even advice at times. Just taking a moment to actually listen to what your partner has to say, and trying to see it from their point of view, says more than words ever could. Argument won, and your relationship is in better shape rather than worse. This little thing makes a huge difference, it may even strengthen how your partner perceives you long term.
4. SAY “I LOVE YOU”
I mean the actual words “I love you” in a sentence. If you feel it, say it. Don’t just assume your partner knows and neglect to verbalize what you really feel. Look them directly into their eyes, and say it like you mean it. A smile is sure to appear on their face, and the response you’ll receive is priceless, it may even be a relief to both of you. Those three little words can brighten up any day, and lets your partner know how much they are loved by you.
Never neglect the power of those three seemingly simple words. Express your love for each other often, don’t leave any room for games or guesswork. Nobody has time for that. Never allow your partner to doubt your feelings or intentions towards them. There are so many distractions and interference outside of the relationship, that it is very important for you to always express your affection.
A person who thinks it’s uncool to say “I love you” to other people doesn’t need to be in a relationship. In no way is it a sign of weakness to love another person, on the contrary, to express that love freely is a strength that is highly attractive. It’s a beautiful thing when two people can express their mutual love for one another.
- COMMUNICATE OFTEN IN DIFFERENT WAYS
A good morning text is a great thing to wake up to and starts the day on a good note. It lets your partner know that they are the first thing on your mind in the morning. If you share the same space, roll over and give them a kiss. One little peck can say so much more than you know. Even a mumbled “good morning” wrapped in morning breath can be a sweet sentiment, if it’s genuine.
If you think your partner is looking good, then tell them. A compliment may seem like a small thing, but it is such a great way to let your partner know that you are still attracted to them no matter how long you’ve been together. They are also great ego boosters that have the power to improve a person’s mood. It shows them that you notice, appreciate and admire them. It’s a small gesture that can make a huge impact on your relationship in a positive way.
Always show your appreciation. It’s not that hard to say “thank you” for the little things that really matter so much. Gratitude is so rarely expressed, but it goes a long way to make your partner feel loved and special. Never neglect to say thank you whenever your partner does something nice, and don’t miss out on the opportunity to express your gratitude by giving back.
Try this: take a minute in the morning to write a small note to say “thank you” or “I love you”, even “have a great day” is a sweet gesture. Leave the note somewhere they can find it during the day and watch what happens. Just a simple sentiment that says so much more than what was written on the note. Be the gift you want to receive.
BE SILLY TOGETHER
A couple that laughs together is going to stay happy together. Letting your inhibitions go and being childlike is something that can easily be forgotten when you’re an adult and especially when you’re a couple in a long-term relationship. Being silly together shows that you are comfortable, and can serve as a reminder of why you fell for one another in the first place.
A couple who can laugh and play together is a very happy one. Don’t fall into a routine that doesn’t include lots of laughter, tell each other jokes and make each other laugh as often as possible. Know that as you grow older in the relationship, a little sense of humor will go a long way.
You can also plan fun date nights like roller skating, bowling, or even host a game night together. Take a moment to honor the little kid in you. There is so much time spent on “adulting” so it’s always good to just let loose and laugh a little. You should always be looking for fun ways to break the monotony every once in a while and escape the domesticated lifestyle you may have settled into. Go for a night out on the town, see a new movie, go ice skating, have some drinks at the bar (you can add role paly in for some real fun). The point is to never fall into a rut and allow your relationship to go stale.
- SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
If he enjoys watching sports, watch with him, make some great snacks, and cheer on his favorite team in your own jersey. Listen and take interest in what your partner likes to do, even if it’s not your personal favorite. Whether it’s watching a TV show your partner enjoys, going to see a musical you’re not really into, or trying that new restaurant with the cuisine you don’t really care for, they will appreciate your effort and enjoy the experience even more because they get to share it with you. In turn, when you want to do an activity that you enjoy, they will be more open to doing that and much more with you as well.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is a small gesture that shows you enjoy their company and simply want to be with them. In doing this, you will learn more about each other through the hobbies and interests you share. Relationships are about compromise, which means there will be times when you should do things you wouldn’t normally do just because it makes the person you love happy. This is a perfect opportunity for the both of you to bond and grow with each other as people.
Feature Photo credit: http://intimatesolutionnetwork.com/blog/
About Writer
Kimberley Jasper is pursuing her Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from the University of Houston. She is currently an accomplished self-published author of three novels, with the release of her fourth being greatly anticipated. From horror fiction with a mystical twist, to erotic thrillers, she is able to do it all with well-seasoned finesse. Kimberley gives every genre of her writing the same drive and devotion. Formerly a public-speaker, she still mentors women of all ages with a series entitled “A Woman’s Work”.
She is a returning freelance writer for Sistah’s Place, Maya’s Blog Showcase, and formerly Urban Image Magazine.
Website: https://mkt.com/krjasperwrites
Twitter: @mariasdghtr
IG: @krjasperwrites