Why newlyweds should decorate TOGETHER By Simone Carter

Merging households poses one of the biggest threats to a new romantic partnership. Experts warn that if home décor isn’t a shared experience, the loving union could be headed for a premature end.

Moving in with someone takes sacrifice and a lot of compromising. You have to adjust to the other persons schedule, surrender to your privacy and come up with a system to who will be responsible for cleaning what.

But the most unanticipated issue is how the place will be decorated. Do you accept his couch with cheese stains and smell of goat cheese or do you throw it out because it clashes with your Leonardo da Vinci art piece?

A recent survey given by online store UGallery discovered that 60 percent of women find home décor styles their biggest challenge when merging homes. The survey included color, furniture, how to decorate walls and most importantly how to combine existing items with your partner’s.

Reframing the conflict

Remind yourself that the overall goal is to create a home that describes you two becoming one. There is no reason to bicker over different taste because you two are now a team that have to work together to make everything flow as what? ONE. Don’t allow something as simple as material things be the cause of you being angry at your spouse.

“The goal is to create an environment you both look forward to after a long day” said, Valencia Carter. In order for that to happen you both must be willing to compromise. If not both of you will be coming home to a place either of you desire to be.

For many couples this is a deal breaker that has led to separation and even divorce according to a survey taken in 2013 by Houzz. Houzz found that 12 percent of its respondents consider either divorce or separation due to the ability to agree on decoration styles.

“One of the things I recommend to my clients is that they shop together,” said Johnathan Alpert, psychotherapist and author of Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 days. In doing so grants both of you the opportunity to have input leaving no one with major decision control.

Decorating a home should be share team effort. Put aside the time to do it together and make a game out of it. This is only one amazing part of the journey of marriage so make the most of it don’t make it a deal breaker.

Shop as a team. Decision like this should be made as a team. Picking out furniture, wallpaper or paint should be done together. This very action allows for both of you to voice your opinions as to what the best choice might be for your home. No one is surprised about a purchase or felling left out a major decision

On the other hand, if the dispute is about whether or not to discard items be compassioned and empathic to one others feels. Try to grow an understanding as to why your partner has an attachment to the item states, Carter.

We are all attached to items that we feel like has created identify for us or in many ways define who we were and are said, Carter.

Start fresh. If you two both have had your own places don’t move in to each other place. If you can try to move somewhere new that way you don’t have the problem of old girlfriends/boyfriends having been in the place, or the issue that person feeling they have greater say in how the place should be decorated.

On the flip side ladies and gentlemen they are only THINGS don’t let them run your marriage. “If you fell in love with this person then certainly you can live with the furniture they might like, said Alpert.”

Understanding that if you can’t overcome something as small as an ugly couch then your problems lay far deeper than you know. As Alpert put it, “It’s not always about what we see on the surface, sometimes a couch is a lot more than a couch.”

Look at the big picture. Is the appearance of your home worth jeopardizing your relationship for? Look into the at risk factors of putting up a fight over simply just items and ask yourself does it really matters that much to you.

Subhead: Unite and conquer not divide and separate?

Caption: Tired of fighting?

Credit the photo: http://buzzlie.com/strange-and-weird-things-couples-fight-about-is-hilarious/ ( buzzlie)

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